Fate

So on my first entry on this blog, I made mention that,"I'm am one of those that's brain seems to be always working. I tend towards self doubt while projecting a very 'together' personae." What the hell does that have to do with building a school in Nicaragua, you ask? Well, nothing. What it has to do with is how I feel about my traveling companions but even more importantly, myself.

Stella & Dot, the amazing company I sell jewelry for is how I won this incredible opportunity to travel to Nicaragua. I will accompany Jessica Herrin (CEO of this little $370 MILLION DOLLAR company) as well as members of the NY design team and the top Foundation Bracelet seller and Director, Shaina Haller. On top of all the brains, these are some beautiful women!!!

                         Shaina Haller and S&D founder and CEO, Jessica Herrin

 Then there is me: your basic Stella & Dot stylist, tattooed, non-college graduate, short, average mom. I mean come on! Which one of these things is not like the other?!?

                                                                       Me.

This is where the thinking part comes in. I started to realize how I always sell myself short. (Joke not intended.) What could I possibly have in common with a CEO of huge company other than the fact we work for the same one? Who am I to hob-knob with New York designers? I started thinking even more. As open and as non judgmental as I am, I am judging this situation a lot! But the thing is, it has nothing to do with other people it has to do with me. I discount myself as being "less than" or unworthy before the gig has even begun! Part of the reason I wanted to win this trip so badly was I felt I could do this! I could stand behind a great product and a great cause and I can certainly kick ass in the wilds of Nicaragua! (I've hiked days in to camp and I'm not afraid of getting dirty. In fact I love getting dirty.) This was for me!

So interesting that I find myself right in the middle of what I know I can do, yet in doubt that I even belong. I think most certainly I am here for a reason.